Looking for sex with men doesn’t necessarily make a man gay. Sexual orientation is subjective and a complex state of being. If a person is gay, its because they are attracted to the same gender and may be clear about their sexual orientation.
But when it comes to bisexuality, its almost as if a person is unable to choose between men and women—they want both. But how does this happen and how does it change a person?
Before we delve into the signs of bisexuality in males, let’s dig a little into what it really is and what happens if a person is bisexual.
What Is Bisexuality?
Bisexual people are those who recognize and honor their desire for physical, sexual and emotional attraction to multiple genders.
A mere appreciation of the physical appearance of a same or opposite sex person is not bisexuality. But if the feelings go beyond appreciation to the point that you want to get intimate with either a man or a woman, then you are bisexual.
Biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s Kinsey scale explains that sexuality is not black or white (heterosexual and homosexual) but a continuum between the two, meaning it moves little by little from heterosexuality to homosexuality.
On the Kinsey scale, 0 is someone who is only heterosexual, 6 is homosexual and 3 indicates someone who is both homosexual and heterosexual (bisexual).
Living in a world, which subscribes to the dichotomy of sexual orientation, it can be difficult for people who fall near the gray spectrum that is the center of the Kinsey scale. But why do people have to fall into this category?
Reasons For Bisexuality
Now it is natural for somebody to be bisexual. The reasons could be many. Sometimes it is social factors, neglectful same sex parenting, sexual abuse or even hormones.
More often than not, a bisexual man may not be completely sure of his sexual orientation and it may be a learning process for him. This also means that a bisexual man may be in a monogamous relationship without knowing about this unique sexual orientation. Just because they are bisexual doesn’t mean they do not wish to have a family or children.
Which brings us to the most important part of the debate: what are the signs of bisexuality in males. Since they cannot recognise it, can you as their partner help them understand what’s happening.
10 Signs Of Bisexuality In Males
How will you know that your partner is bisexual? You might be confused about the relationship he/she has with their ‘friends’ — is it platonic? Romantic? Sexual?
The following signs may not definitely tell you that your spouse is bisexual but will guide you in understanding them.
- If he likes anal stimulation or likes to have his prostrate massaged. If he wants to have anal sex more than vaginal sex or skips your vagina altogether.
- Your partner stares at men and is often complementary and physical around them
- Notice if your partner likes to touch the same gender person a lot or get close to them like lovers do.
- Your man also likes to spend a lot of his time with his male friends and you often notice him sitting uncomfortably close to them
- Observe your partner’s friends. How do they act with each other, are they feminine (or masculine)?
- Chart your sex life with your partner. How often are you intimate with each other? Are you always the one to initiate the process? Is your partner always in a hurry to finish?
- Women who love other women can appreciate their finer qualities, and join their partner in admiring them. This is not a definitive clue but if she goes overboard in appreciating the sex appeal of another woman then it may be a hint that she is bisexual.
- Your partner is into girl-on-girl porn or man-on-man porn. If your partner likes or enjoys same sex porn and gets pleasure out of it then chances are high that your partner wouldn’t mind a bit of same sex action too.
- They share their fantasies or desires involving others of same sex.
- His appreciation for other mens’ physical appearance often turns into appreciation of their sex appeal
Now, if these instances are a regular occurrence, you should trust your instincts and work on your relationship accordingly. Yes, at first it may shock you and you might feel deceived. But you should try to give your relationship a chance, if possible.
Do not blame yourself for how your partner feels. There are many happy bisexual relationships and marriages, but as is the case with any partnership, they also require effort. In that case, there are ways you can work together.
Remember that nobody has the right to tell you to panic and divorce your partner or end your relationship. You best understand what you’re dealing with and you are the only one who can choose for yourself.